Mon top 10 des raisons pour fréquenter le gym

L’activité physique à l’extérieur, j’adore ça, mais ma nature frileuse me pousse souvent à emprunter la voie du gym pendant les beaux mois hivernaux. J’y fais surtout du vélo stationnaire, du yoga, et des étirements. Je vous présente ici le top dix des raisons qui me motivent à fréquenter le gym! 

Success, Excellence, and the Art of Letting Go

Through social media, social discourse, education, ads, and the like, society bombards us with two opposing messages. On one side: the necessity to excel, to (out)perform, to succeed, to be role models, to exceed expectations. On another side: the importance of being relaxed and easygoing, of leading a healthy lifestyle (respecting our mind and body), of taking life with a grain of salt.

This blog post is meant to explore this substantive dichotomy that surrounds us in our modern, twenty-first century lifestyles, and to navigate how it can become possible to reconcile the realities from which this dichotomy stems. In fact, by pointing them out, I don't mean to minimize any of these two views. Unless they are taken to an extreme, both are actually substantially healthy.

The cause of our generation's stress and distress - or at least of mine! - doesn't reside in the presence of either one of these messages in our popular discourse. Rather, sparks arise from their coexistence. In itself, the coexistence is manageable, reconcilable. Yet somehow, our inability to do well while remaining gracious and relaxed is socially condemned as a fault.

In college and early on in our career, many of us feel the pressure to be - and to be seen as - successful. This may mean specializing in a challenging field, receiving top grades on assessments, logging in many hours, or otherwise adopting behaviours positively recognized and applauded in our networks (family, friends, colleagues...). We're also expected to do all that as though it's no big deal. It becomes even better if we have the ability to turn it into a life-learning experience.

"How's your internship?" I asked a friend.

"Oh, it's long hours, but it's cool, I expected it, yeah, I like it!"

Or I get asked, "How's law school? I heard it's a tough programme!" I could be truthful to myself and expose my real feelings about the experience, or I could give an answer that's standard and expected, like most other students do: "It is, it's a lot of work, but I've been managing it pretty well".

There's no problem with the above scenarios - if people actually enjoy their experience, that's great, and if they're doing well, why not even brag about it a little - we all deserve a pat on the back. What makes me uneasy is simply that these answers are expected: we know that we should work hard, excel, yet do so with a smile and with ease. And truthfully, that's a lot of pressure! Life's sending us some slaps across the face and each time we have to stay there standing a little taller, growing a little stronger, and remaining self-composed. And since everyone around us is adopting this same "I can take it" attitude, it becomes difficult to stand up for our true, sometimes struggling self and admit to both ourself and others that; you know what, this is actually mighty rough, not enjoyable, and a roller coaster ride. At some point, I think we'd all benefit from collectively admitting that the path we chose - or got propelled on - is a difficult one and that remaining calm, serene, and happy is not a continuous requirement, nor an easy task.

Strikingly, we are also bombarded with beauty, health, and wellbeing standards. Leading a balanced life is now a social necessity. While managing professional and personal obligations, we should still find time to visit the gym three times a week, eat planet-friendly and organic foods, be an active member of the social media world, and only step out with an impeccable outfit. Most importantly, there's a social pressure to be light and put on a smile when interacting with others. Except for a few close friends, people aren't particularly open to having us share feelings of aggravation, exhaustion, and irritability. When things get rough, we shouldn't take it too seriously: rather, we're expected to take it with grace, with a relaxed attitude.

Take these examples of hardships: losing one's job or being ill. "I heard you're out of a job" becomes an inquiry we answer by "yeah, but that's alright, my job search is going well!" or that we feel the need to justify with a "its giving me time to question myself on my true values and objectives so I can better reorient myself". And those suffering from illness will somehow never really feel quite comfortable telling you what a bad day is like. I'm not saying a positive attitude should be condemned : it's priceless and quite necessary! But honestly, the pressure we feel to silence hardship and consistently transform every challenge into a positive experience can be exhausting, and rather unhealthy.

In the academic world, a bad outcome to an assignment is not to be sulked about, but great results are presented to others with a nonchalant attitude, "no big deal". Having anything short of a full-time course load and another dozen obligations is frowned upon and the person's ability to deal with stress is questioned, "oh really, you only take four classes and you don't have a part-time job?". Enjoying hard work, adversity, and challenges is great: we all seek the satisfaction we get out of those. Yet these shouldn't be imposed or obliged. Mostly, they shouldn't stop us from being able to admit they come with a cost, or that we aren't ready to always do more and better, because we just aren't comfortable with paying the cost that comes with.

The biggest problem I see in all of this is the constant quest for Perfection that so many of us seem to strive towards. We are working towards an ideal of professional and personal success to the extent where we even forget to enjoy the adventure we are on because we are blinded by the objective we aim - or that we think we should be aiming. We forget to question whether the path is still enjoyable to us, whether it makes us happy, and whether it's even taking us somewhere we actually want to go.

What I suggest is not to reject success-oriented philosophies and take everything lightly by focusing solely on wellness. This extreme would be as detrimental to us as its opposite. It would more than likely leave us gasping for the challenges that keep us alive. As I said earlier, I think both are reconcilable and a balanced middle ground is healthiest. Therefore, what I suggest is to consciously evade our quest towards an imposed sense of Perfection and to rather strive towards a personal sense of Excellence. The difference I see between these two is that when aiming Perfection, we listen to and attempt to emulate ideals dictated to us from the outside, we leave no space for mistakes, and we compare ourselves to others, whereas when aiming for Excellence, we create our own personal objectives and ways of life, we accept and learn from our mistakes, and we compare ourselves to nobody other than our own self.

Personally, going from a Perfection-oriented mentality to an Excellence-oriented philosophy requires me to practice the Art of Letting Go: simply put, it means I must learn let go of long-established instincts. It requires turning to others for help, sharing experiences of hardship, questioning my present and long-term goals, shifting my definition of success from socially imposed ideals to personally inspired objectives, and much more. In brief, it requires a fundamental shift in my approach to self-worth. Yet doing so has led me to become much more content with where I stand. Therefore, I really do hope that this brief reflection will encourage others to also reflect on their definitions of success and the expectations bestowed upon them as young adults. It should be alright, and encouraged, even, to question and denounce the expectations that both we ourselves and society impose on us. This can lead us to choose for ourselves what satisfies our personal definition(s) of Excellence, which I honestly think is a great step forward for those struggling to keep up with the dichotomous young adult world we landed in.

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It was a matter of time before Subtil équilibre had to welcome a post written in English. Now, at least, this blog represents much better my bilingualism! 

Trois techniques subtiles pour être plus zen

Au quotidien, on a tendance à se crisper sans s’en rendre compte, et pourtant ça se répercute directement sur notre santé physique et mentale. Aujourd’hui je propose qu’on prenne conscience de trois mauvaises habitudes que plusieurs d’entre nous avons et de nous en départir en ajoutant à notre quotidien trois subtiles techniques de bien-être.  Adieu, stress et maux de tête!

Mes cinq grands principes pour gérer le conflit

Bien qu’il nous arrive tous d’être aux prises avec des relations conflictuelles, nous nous arrêtons trop peu souvent pour réfléchir à la manière dont on gère le conflit avec l’autre dans nos vies personnelles et professionnelles.

En fait, nos réactions face à une relation conflictuelle peuvent se traduire par divers comportements, selon les circonstances et notre personnalité : confrontation, évitement, rejet du blâme sur l’autre, repliement sur soi... et pourtant, ces réactions ne font qu’amplifier le problème! En parallèle, le conflit devient pour plusieurs une source de stress, d’angoisse, de confusion, ou de frustration, et il participe en ce sens à miner notre sentiment de bien-être.

La routine matinale axée bien-être

Puisqu’une bonne routine matinale donne le ton au reste de la journée, voici quelques astuces pour s’assurer de partir la journée sur le bon pied. Bien sûr, il ne s'agit pas de respecter cette routine au pied de la lettre, mais simplement de se rappeler ce qui est essentiel et de prendre un petit moment pour soi. 

Mes essentiels: un tapis de yoga, de l'eau citronnée, du thé, un petit-déjeûner santé et délicieux, et une atmosphère de détente avant le chaos de la journée... 

L'extraordinaire du mois: Émilie

On m’a récemment expliqué que bien qu’une partie de notre capacité à être heureux est génétique et qu'une autre a à voir avec les événements qui nous arrivent au cours de la vie, ce qui détermine dans la plus grande mesure notre capacité au bonheur est plutôt liée à notre attitude face à la vie et face au bonheur lui-même.

Coin recette: Smoothie revigorant aux fraises

Je vous présente ici une de mes recettes préférées, le smoothie revigorant aux fraises extra-nutritif.

Ce smoothie est idéal comme déjeuner pour accompagner une tranche de pain brun le matin, comme collation en après-midi, ou comme breuvage désaltérant au retour d’une longue journée. En plus d'être délicieux au goût, il vous fournit le tiers des fibres à consommer pendant la journée, tout en contenant aussi vitamine A, vitamine C, calcium et fer... En effet, c'est un smoothie qui ne combine que des aliments naturels, dont produits laitiers, fruits, légumes, et noix. Une recette impeccable autant pour les papilles gustatives que pour votre équilibre alimentaire.

Je partage donc ma recette...